i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
