R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
