I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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