he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So apparently I’m into choking now
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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