I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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