When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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