Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
