Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
