He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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