I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
