Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize