you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
