Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
