I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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