Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
