So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
