I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hippo gnu deer
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
