Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
