Im at strip club and am horny
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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