We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
