My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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