wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
