if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize