What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
