Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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