he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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