my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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