why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
