don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
