You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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