porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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