Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize