i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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