if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you win again, gameday.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
