I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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