the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
how drunk are you?
Several
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
