Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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