Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
