new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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