don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
then he tried to convert me to islam
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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