We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We're too hungover to prance.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
