no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
