come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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