drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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