Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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