Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
