today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
