i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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