I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
