i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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