I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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