Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
