Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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