i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
