Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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