I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize