I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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