hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Couch. On fire.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
