I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
