dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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