So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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