Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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