she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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