FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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