we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
