I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
