Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
