OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
tell your sister to shave her snatch
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
