S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
