I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
