isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Houston, we have a blender
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
