of course. lets lasso hookers.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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