well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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