Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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