I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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