his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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